Sacrifice
by Tietsu
Summary: What would you be willing to sacrifice for the one you love? *Draco/Harry slash* *chapter 2 up*
1. Default Chapter

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Part: 1/?

Warnings: Hrm. This one's pretty mild. Let's see...slash, dark themes, angst. I'd say that about does it. ^^

Summary: What would you be willing to sacrifice for the one you love?

Archive: Sure. Just tell me where you're taking it. ^_^

Disclaimer: The wonder known as Harry Potter belongs to a lot of people, and you can rest assured that I'm not one of them. *sadness* The only thing I own is the writing. Heck, even the *idea* isn't mine! I'm not making any money off of this insane endeavor, and while I don't always play nice with other people's toys, I promise to return them alive, at least. ^_~

Notes: This is in answer to a challenge that was something along the lines of: In just about every Harry/Draco story, Draco is always the one who sees the error of his ways and changes sides. What if, for once, Harry was the one to go to Draco's?

That's way paraphrased, but it's the general idea. Just so you know, this entire thing was written while my muse was beating me over the head with a blunt object, screaming, "Harry wouldn't DO that, you dolt! Voldemort killed his parents, for !@#$'s sake! Do you HONESTLY think he would switch sides....ARGH!!! Out of character...did you hear me? I said OUT OF CHARACTER!!!!!" *whapbangsmashhurtkill*

Heh...which means quite likely that said volatile muse will abandon me after this travesty and I'll never be able to write again. *sigh* Oh well. And just the other day I was mentioning how I prefer Harry/Draco stories to be well plotted with loads of character developement and whatnot. Hm. Do as I say, not as I do, I suppose. Enjoy! ^_^v

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sacrifice

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~ _Masquerading as a man with a reason,_

_ my charade is the event of the season._

_ And if I claim to be a wise man,_

_ it surely means that I don't know._

_ On a stormy of moving emotion,_

_ tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean_.~*~

- Carry On My Wayward Son, Kansas

  


God, but he had the most beautiful eyes. The vicious, dark steel of storm clouds when he was angry, melting into twin pools of quicksilver at the barest hint of a smile. They could show every emotion that swirled in their depths, or when he willed it, they were like polished mirrors, reflecting everything and giving no hint to what lay beneath.

Harry sighed, turning his gaze back to his breakfast, which he began poking at disinterestedly. Dancing. That's what it was. He and Draco danced to a melody only they could hear. Step and counter step, all in perfect time, each knowing and reading the other like a pair of long-time partners.

It had been a long time, though, hadn't it? Nearly seven years. Seven years of these intricate steps, the melody growing more and more complicated, and still they never missed a step. They always kept pace, each weaving in and out and around the other. This dance of theirs...it had been a simple thing once. Then the melody changed, and the dance grew more charged, more intimate with every passing year.

Their rivalry had mellowed over the years, even as their dance intensified. He and Draco had come to something of an understanding. A tenuous alliance of sorts. Not that he understood the blonde Slytherin one bit more than he ever had. 

He was musing over just what exactly it was that made Draco Malfoy tick, when he felt someone poke his arm. "Hey, Harry." 

Harry looked over at Ron. "Yeah?"

Ron jerked his head in the direction of the Slytherin table. "Malfoy's been staring at you for a while." He made a face, "It's kind of creepy."

Harry blinked and looked over. Ron was right. Draco was leaning back in his chair, regarding Harry thoughtfully over the cup of coffee cradled in his hands. "Hm." Harry went back to poking at his breakfast.

Ron stared at him a moment, confused. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Not really," Harry said, not bothering to point out that he had been doing the exact same thing a few minutes before. Ron and Hermione really didn't know about his understanding with Draco, and he didn't plan on telling them. Things were less complicated that way. Ron hated Draco far too much to react in any way other than badly, and if he told Hermione, then he told Ron. That was just the way it worked.

"If you say so," Ron said after a few moments, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "If he was staring at me like that, I'd walk over there and punch him in the nose."

"If by some cruel twist of fate I were forced to stare at you, Weasley, I would gouge out my own eyes." Ron and Harry both started at the familiar drawl, looking up to see Draco standing over them, smirking.

Ron glared at him. "Sod off, Malfoy," he snarled.

Draco snorted. "And miss even a moment of your stupidity, Weasley? Perish the thought." 

"Why were you staring at Harry?" Ron demanded.

Draco blinked at him, vaguely surprised at the question, then shrugged, "If you must know, I was thinking. An activity you're quite unfamiliar with, I'm sure."

Before Ron could reply, Draco turned his attention to Harry. "Would you like to go on a walk?"

Harry stared at him for a moment, surprised at the request. He heard Ron choking on his breakfast, and even Hermione had looked up from her book at the question. "Uh..." he said intelligently.

"Well?" Draco said impatiently, "I'm not going to wait all day."

"Uh...okay. Sure," he said, standing up.

"Harry!" Ron said, staring at him as if he'd gone mad.

"Harry, I'm not so sure that's a good idea," Hermione said.

"Oh, for goodness sake, I'm not going to attack him. Honestly." Draco shook his head and looked at Harry. "Coming?" 

"I'll be fine you two. I'll see you later, alright?" Harry said. 

Ron growled something under his breath as the two made their way out of the Great Hall, glaring at the door as if it had somehow offended him.

"Well, that was strange," Hermione said.

"Hey," They looked over at the sound of Seamus' voice. "Did I just see Harry leave with Malfoy?" he asked, sitting down and grabbing a plate. His eyes were still bleary with sleep. "Or am I still dreaming?"

"No," Ron muttered, "You just saw Harry lose his bloody mind, is what you saw."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They walked in silence for a long time, side by side, Harry studying Draco's profile curiously. He seemed pensive, so lost in thought that Harry wasn't even sure Draco was aware he was there anymore. Which was fine by him. The silence was a comfortable one, and he was content to leave Draco to his thoughts for the moment. 

Harry looked up at the cloudless sky, squinting against the sun. It was a nice day, not even a bite on the breeze to tell of the approaching winter. It was peaceful, but the air seemed charged, poised and tense. Like the calm before a storm, and it unsettled him. Harry got the distinct impression something waited just below the surface, like a predator waiting to strike.

Shaking the thought away, he turned his attention to Draco. "So, why the walk?"

Draco blinked, startled out of his thoughts. He looked over at Harry, smiling wryly. "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I wanted the company," he said, stopping at the lake's edge. "Company with more than half a brain cell, and company that wouldn't try to molest me the moment we were alone."

Harry grinned. "You think I have more than one brain cell? Why, Malfoy, I'm touched."

"More than _half_ a brain cell," Draco corrected, "And don't let it go to your head, Potter."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Draco dropped gracefully to the ground, and Harry followed suit. There was silence again, but Harry didn't mind. These silences with Draco were never awkward. They simply were. It never ceased to amaze him, that in these rare times with Draco, words never really seemed necessary.

"Anymore...it almost seems like I'm more comfortable around you than I am Ron or Hermione." Harry blinked in surprise, then made a face. He hadn't meant to say that aloud.

"Oh?" Draco was regarding him curiously.

"I...well, that is..." Harry said, feeling the need to explain himself. "It's just like I've...grown apart from them, I guess."

"Ah." Draco looked back at the lake. "People change, friends grow apart...it's called growing up, Potter. Nothing lasts forever."

"Nothing lasts forever..." Harry echoed, then sighed. "I suppose you're right. Doesn't mean I have to like it though."

Draco snorted. "That's what makes life interesting, you know. Change. The unknown. If everything was safe, comfortable and always the same, what would be the point of living? Of waking up every day and knowing that it will be just like the last. An endless cycle of monotony. No thank you Potter. I'd rather drown myself in the lake." He looked at Harry. "Where's that Gryffindor bravery, hm? Very uncharacteristic to fear change, don't you think?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm not _afraid_ of change, Malfoy. I just don't like it when I was happy with the way things were before."

"You'd prefer we were back at each other's throats then?"

"...No. No, I don't think I want that."

"Hm."

"Oh....bollocks," Harry sighed. "I really should stop whining, shouldn't I?"

"Spectacular idea. I was getting a headache."

"Oh, shut up Malfoy."

"What?" Draco feigned surprise, "You don't like the sound of my voice?"

Harry grinned at him, "Not as much as you do."

"Are you insinuating something?" Draco demanded, sounding highly offended.

"You mean am I saying that half the time you open your mouth just to hear yourself talk?" Harry pretended to think about it. "Nope. You must be imagining things."

Draco laughed then, shaking his head. "Honestly, Potter, I don't know why I tolerate you."

"It must be my wonderful personality and stunning good looks."

Draco snorted. "Hardly."

"Why then?" Harry asked quietly.

"What?" Draco asked, surprised by Harry's sudden serious tone.

"Why _do_ you tolerate me, Draco?" Harry pinned him with a penetrating stare. "We spent years hating each other, so why are we out here now, poking fun at each other like friends? What changed?" 

Resting his chin on his knee, Draco considered the question. "We did, Harry," he said softly.

When he said nothing more, Harry took a moment to think about it. Draco was right, he realized. They had changed. They weren't children anymore, running around with stupid prejudices. "When did we grow up Draco?"

"Must've happened when we weren't looking," Draco said, smiling slightly.

"No kidding," Harry said, unconsciously mimicking the other boy's position. "I lied, you know."

"About what?"

"I _am_ afraid of change." Harry hugged his knees to his chest. "This is our last year at Hogwarts. Everyone thinks Voldemort is going to finally make his move soon, and they're all looking to me. Every last one of them thinks I'm their savior, Draco. I don't want to be their savior."

It was true. He was so tired. Tired of the adoration and the expectations, tired of the fame. He didn't want to be the thrice damned Boy-Who-Lived. He just wanted to be Harry. No more, no less. What it so much to ask, to just want to fade quietly into the woodwork, to be just another person for once? 

"Then don't be."

"What?" Harry's head snapped up, and he stared at Draco.

Draco regarded him with an even gaze. "I said don't be. Just because everyone has been filling your head with that nonsense since day one doesn't mean you _have_ to do it. They just want you to think you do. There's always a choice, Harry." 

Suddenly, Harry realized just what it was about Draco Malfoy he had come to like. There were no expectations. Ron, Hermione, the rest of the wizarding world, they all wanted something from him. Everyone wanted something, and it was draining him. He was sick of it all. With Draco, there was none of that, and he was so grateful for such a small thing.

"I've figured it out."

"What's that?"

"I know why I like you," Harry said.

"Oh, is that all?" Draco said, waving a hand dismissively. "I can think of plenty. My charm, my intelligence, my spectacularly sharp wit, oh, and did I mention that I'm really quite pretty, too?"

Harry choked back a laugh. "I'm serious, Malfoy. I didn't say that so you could stroke your own ego."

"What ego? It's all true." Harry just gave him a look, and Draco sighed. "All right, you win. Why?"

"You don't expect me to save the world."

The blonde stared at him incredulously. "You like me because I _don't_ worship you? That's pretty backwards, Potter."

Harry just smiled wryly and flopped down on his back. "It's nice to have at least one person who doesn't expect things from me. If anyone had heard you tell me _not_ to be a savior, it would have earned you a one way trip to St. Mungo's."

"Consider the source," Draco said dryly. Harry frowned at him, and he shrugged. "Come now, Potter. You know very well my allegiances lie in a different direction."

Harry sighed. "Yeah. I know. Though....for someone siding with the bad guys, you really don't strike me as evil." He tossed a rock in the general direction of the lake. "People must think I'm insane, trusting you. Maybe I am."

"Evil is all relative, Potter. Is killing a child evil?"

"Yes."

"Suppose that child was carrying a incurable disease that could very well wipe out the human race. It it evil then?"

Harry hesitated, unsure how to answer. "I...don't know."

Draco looked down at him. "It gets a little tougher, then, doesn't it? It's all relative. Black and white is an illusion. Everything is in shades of grey. Both sides of any war believe they're right. And, in a way, they both _are_. It's all a matter of perspective. Though," Draco grinned, "On a lighter note, it's nice to know you trust me."

"War," Harry said the word like it was something vile, "You know, when it comes to that...we'll be enemies."

"I had a selfish reason for telling you not to be their savior, you know."

"So that your side will win?"

"No, actually," Draco said, "Truthfully, I don't want you to get hurt."

"What?" Harry asked, genuinely surprised.

"Come now, Potter. I'm not a complete monster you know, " he sniffed, "I would prefer to keep my friends safe."

"You think of me as a friend?"

"Much to the distress of Death Eaters everywhere, yes I do."

It struck Harry then, how absurd the conversation was. He was talking to Draco about being one of the bad guys as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Draco Malfoy, someone with which he was developing a friendship, was siding with Voldemort. Harry also realized, with a little discomfort, that it didn't bother him nearly as much as it should have.

He looked up at Draco then, eyes catching the other boy's. The stayed like that a moment, just looking at each other, Draco regarding him out of half-lidded eyes. Harry blinked in surprise when Draco leaned down, stopping only when their faces were bare inches apart.

"It's all relative, Harry," he whispered, brushing his lips against Harry's in a feather-light kiss. 

It had barely been more than a touching of lips, but it left Harry feeling dizzy and lightheaded, and as Draco pulled away, Harry was aware of only one thing.

He was in a great deal of trouble.

  


  



	2. Chapter 2

Title: Sacrifice

Author: Shawna

Email: suppi_chan@msn.com

Rated: Oh...hell if I know. PG for now, maybe PG-13 later?

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Part: 2/?

Warnings: Hrm. This one's pretty mild. Let's see...slash, dark themes, angst. And not really as much as I'd been planning. *sigh* 

Disclaimer: The wonder known as Harry Potter belongs to a lot of people, and you can rest assured that I'm not one of them. *sadness* The only thing I own is the writing. Heck, even the *idea* isn't mine! I'm not making any money off of this insane endeavor, and while I don't always play nice with other people's toys, I promise to return them alive, at least. ^_~ 

Notes: Well. That's it. This is a lost cause. My muse has all but abandoned me, and even *I'm* not sure who's writing this thing anymore. ^^; 

Though, on a sillier note, I made a couple of fun typos while I was working on it. ^_^v The first one was 'Snap snaped.' *grin* Anyone have any idea how one would snape? Would it involve taking points from Gryffindor at every turn? Hehe... 

The other was at some point when Draco was speaking, I accidentally typed 'Pooter' instead of 'Potter.' Had me rolling for at least ten minutes, imagining Draco saying pooter. ^_^ I know, I'm crazy. On to the fic! Enjoy, burn it, use it to line the litter box. Your choice. ^^ 

~*~_I've been searching for a reason, and I'm running out of time._

_ I can feel that it's that season, it's time to make up my mind._

_ And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do, _

_ There are so many thoughts in my head._

_ There are two roads to walk down, and one road to choose,_

_ So I'm thinking over the things that you've said._

_ I'm thinking over the things..._~*~

-Thinking Over, Dana Glover

  


Harry's thoughts had been running in circles for the past week. His classes were all a blur, and he couldn't seem to focus on anything. Just the same thoughts, over and over, running an endless circuit that led absolutely nowhere. Harry took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair, staring blindly at the potions textbook in front of him.

Focus.

He had to think about things in a rational manner, not like the overwhelmed, panicked little boy he very much felt like.

Draco had kissed him.

Right. Good. It was a start. Draco Malfoy had kissed him. Harry tried rather unsuccessfully to ignore the way his stomach twisted into knots at the memory. He frowned. No, ignoring it wasn't going to get him anywhere. He had to be honest with himself if he was going to figure anything out, and ignoring how he felt really didn't count as honesty. Draco had kissed him, and he had liked it.

There. He had liked the kiss. In fact, he really wouldn't mind a repeat performance. Actually, he admitted to himself, he was really rather hoping there would be. That brief touch of lips had stirred something inside him that Harry found intriguing, if a bit frightening. Intriguing enough that he wanted to explore that feeling further.

_It's all relative._

Draco's words from the week before came back to him, and Harry couldn't help but wonder if he was right. Was it all relative? For seven years, he'd had the clear cut lines of good and evil laid out before him, but what if it was all an illusion? Nothing more then a matter of perspective? Harry shied away from the thought, forcing it from his mind. He wasn't ready to deal with that possibility. Not yet.

Draco first. Once he had that aspect of things figured out, he could focus on the rest of it. For the sake of his sanity, he couldn't tackle all of his doubts at once.

"Potter!"

Harry started, head snapping up to find Snape fixing him with glare. "S-sir?" he stammered, feeling a blush creep up his face when he realized the rest of the class was staring.

"So nice of you to join us, Potter," Snape snapped, "Now, would you kindly explain the importance of timing for this particular potion?"

"I...uh...that is, well..." Harry shrank beneath Snape's stare. He didn't even know what potion they were studying. "I don't know," he said meekly.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," Snape said, eyes glinting in malicious pleasure. "It might be in your best interest to pay attention next time, Potter." 

Harry just nodded and proceeded to spend the rest of the class trying to be as invisible as possible. It wasn't the first time Snape had caught him without an answer. In fact, it seemed to be happening more and more frequently as of late, but it was embarrassing nevertheless.

Thankfully, he didn't have long to wait. Apparently Snape had waited till the tail end of class to make a fool out of him. Harry frowned to himself as he collected his things. This was getting to be ridiculous. He was so out of it lately that he was losing track of time, forgetting meals and sometimes going to the wrong classes. It had to stop, and that wasn't going to happen until he spoke to Draco. He would have to meet him tonight.

So caught up was he in his thoughts, that he didn't notice Hermione calling his name until she was practically on top of him. "Oh, hello Hermione," he said, smiling sheepishly.

She frowned as she fell into step beside him, concern plain. "I'm worried about you, Harry," she said. "You haven't been yourself lately. What's wrong?" 

He stopped walking, turning to face her, smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring way. "It's nothing Hermione. It's just school stress, you know?" He felt a pang of guilt at how easily the lie came. When had it come to this? It seemed as though a great gap had grown between them, and now he couldn't even talk to her anymore.

"You sure?" she asked, "You can tell me anything Harry, you know that, right?"

"Yeah." He elbowed her playfully, trying to ignore the guilty tightening in his chest. "Thanks for caring."

"Harry! Hermione!" They both turned to see Ron running up to them. He grinned excitedly. "I just heard from one of the girls in Hufflepuff that one of the Slytherin fifth years just managed to turn Professor Flitwick green! Wanna go see if we can't get a look at him?"

Hermione looked over at Harry, and he grinned, waving a hand. "Go, go. I'll be along in a bit, alright?"

"Don't you want to see him Harry?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, but," he gestured back at the classroom, "I should probably go apologize to Snape. I _was_ practically sleeping in his class."

Ron shook his head. "You're crazy. You're lucky you got out of there without detention!" 

Harry just shrugged, and Ron sighed. "Alright then. C'mon Hermione." 

Harry sighed and slumped against the wall as they rounded the corner. He hated this. He hated lying to his friends, but he just felt so strained around them. More and more, the laughter and smiles were forced. The childhood friendship had deteriorated, leaving them all grasping at threads, trying delay the inevitable, to keep it from unraveling completely. 

"Apologize to Snape? Really, Potter...couldn't you think of something better than that?"

That soft, liquid voice sent an electric thrill down his spine that settled as a strange, fluttering warmth in his belly. Harry looked up, meeting amused silver eyes, and he felt himself flush. "Uh...well..."

"Always so eloquent?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, I uh...wanted to talk to you," Harry said quietly, ignoring the jibe.

"I thought you might," Draco said. "Considering you've been running around in a daze all week. I'm amazed you haven't been running into walls."

Harry winced. "Is it that obvious?"

"Mm. Very. I actually overheard some of the teachers talking about it. Seems you have everyone quite concerned."

Harry made a face. "So I've been a little out of it. It's not that big of a deal."

"I suppose," Draco said slowly, regarding Harry with a serious stare, "That depends on who you ask." He pushed away from the wall, and before Harry could reply, he said, "About that talk. Let's move to a place a little less..." He gestured to a couple of passing Ravenclaw girls. "Public."

Harry nodded, falling into step beside Draco as he asked, "So, how was it you managed to survive falling asleep in Snape's class?"

"I didn't fall asleep," Harry said, embarrassed. "I just...wasn't really paying much attention."

"Ah. You know, you really must be pretty bad off, if even Snape was feeling sorry enough for you that you got away without detention. Hmm...if a little thing like that was enough send you into a daze," Draco said, looking over at Harry with a smug smirk. "I wonder what would happen if I _really_ kissed you."

Harry choked, staring at Draco with wide eyes, face flaming. "I...you didn't...that is, I...well...oh dear..." he trailed off, completely mortified.

Draco laughed. "You really are too easy to embarrass, Potter."

"Prat," Harry muttered, punching him in the shoulder.

"Oh, so now you resort to violence?" Draco shook his head, "And here I thought you were better than that."

"For you, I'll make an exception."

"You certainly do have a knack for making a man feel special," Draco said dryly.

"Well, you..." Harry trailed off, suddenly aware that he had no idea where they were. "Draco, where are we?"

"Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. You really _are_ out of it."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Malfoy, for pointing out the obvious. You know what I meant."

Draco just smiled at him. "I told you we were going somewhere a little less public."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "A dead end in a corridor I never knew existed?"

"Patience, Potter," Draco said, pushing in one of the stones on the wall.

There was a faint rumbling, and then to Harry's surprise, part of the wall slid open, revealing a room beyond. Draco smirked. "After you."

"Where does it lead?" Harry asked, stepping inside.

"Nowhere." Draco replied, following him inside and making sure the wall closed back up behind them. "As far as I've been able to tell, it's just a long forgotten storage room."

Harry nodded, looking around curiously. It didn't look much like a storage room. Bedroom seemed more appropriate. There was a desk and chair in one corner, a bed in another. There was a large, thick rug on the floor, and a few smaller items scattered around the room. He looked over at Draco, who had plunked down on the bed. "It doesn't look like a storage room, forgotten or otherwise," he said.

"Well, of _course_ it doesn't. It's taken me years to get this place put together properly." Harry thought Draco seemed rather proud. "This is...my little secret, I suppose. I spend most of my time here." He grinned. "The privacy is well worth the reputation of being Hogwarts' most promiscuous Slytherin."

"You mean...you aren't?" Harry felt stupid the instant the words were out of his mouth.

Draco chuckled. "Well, I'm hardly an innocent, Potter, but no, I'm not nearly as bad as the rumors say. I do have _standards_ you know."

Harry knew Draco hadn't meant anything by it, but he felt himself blush anyway. He turned his back, pretending to look over the room, and hoped Draco hadn't noticed. "So...all those rumors about your, er, activities...you were always here?"

"Most of the time."

Harry nodded, feeling vaguely relieved. "How many people know about it?"

"Just you."

Eyes wide in surprise, Harry turned to look at Draco. "Just me? But...why?"

Draco shrugged. "You said you trusted me. So, I thought it appropriate that I show you my own gesture of trust." He grinned. "Besides, what fun is a secret when you don't have anyone to share it with?"

Harry couldn't help but smile. "You don't really strike me as someone given to shows of trust."

"I'm not." 

Harry felt strangely pleased by that comment, but didn't press further.

"Now," Draco said, "I believe you wanted to talk?"

"Er...yeah."

"Sit." The blonde pointed to a spot next to him on the bed. Harry hesitated for a moment, before settling down next to him.

"Alright," Draco said, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. "Talk."

"Well..." Harry sighed, looking over at Draco. He looked for all the world to be asleep. Hands folded over his stomach and legs crossed at the ankles, he was completely relaxed. A few strands of pale blonde hair had come out of the tail and hung in his eyes and against his cheek. It was the first time Harry had ever seen Draco look so unguarded and...peaceful.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I always thought talking involved...oh, sound of some sort."

Harry started guiltily, realizing that Draco had cracked open an eye and was watching him with an amused smile. "Oh...sorry. I got distracted."

"Apparently." Draco closed his eyes again, but the smile was still in place. "Care to give it another go?"

"Why did you...uh..." Harry felt himself blush and made a face. Why was he getting so worked up over it anyway? It wasn't like he had never kissed someone. Granted, he had never kissed a man before, but he was acting like a little boy going all to pieces after his first kiss. He took a deep breath. "Why did you kiss me?" There. That wasn't so bad. His voice hadn't even shaken. Much.

"Because I wanted to," Draco said, voice tinged with amusement.

"That doesn't really clear much up," Harry muttered.

"Then learn to ask the right questions, Potter."

"Okay," Harry took a deep breath, trying to ignore the herd of hippogriffs apparently stampeding around in his stomach with little success. "Why did you want to?"

Draco smirked. "Ah. Now that _is_ a question, isn't it? You really are quite kissable, you know."

"I'm what?"

"Kissable."

"Kissable?"

"Quite."

"You kissed me because I'm....kissable?"

"No."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, Potter." Draco's smirk graduated into a full fledged grin. "I was merely making an observation."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Immensely."

"Stupid git."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Potter."

Harry snorted, grabbed the pillow and swung it with all his strength right into Draco's face. The blonde squeaked, eyes flying open and nearly falling off the bed. Draco stared at him, wide-eyed and half hanging off the bed, and Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, don't look at me like that. You had it coming."

Draco sniffed, all wounded dignity, and sat up, trying rather unsuccessfully to smooth his hair back down. "Remind me to never let you within ten feet of a pillow."

Harry just grinned. "You going to answer my question now?"

With an annoyed snort, Draco gave up on his hair, letting it fall in his face. Half of it had escaped the tail when Harry had hit him, and now free, refused to be put back into proper order. "You have _no_ sense of humor." 

"Oh, I don't know about that," Harry said, "I thought it was incredibly funny."

"You would."

"Draco?"

"Hm?"

"My question."

Draco settled back into his former position, keeping a wary eye on his companion this time. "I kissed you because I wanted to see how you'd react."

Harry frowned. "You wanted to see how I'd react?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"Let me finish, will you?" Draco interrupted. "It was a...test of sorts."

"A test?" Harry asked, not quite understanding. Had it all been just a joke?

Draco shook his head. "No. It's my turn to ask a question. Why have _you_ been in such a daze?"

"It...unsettled me, I suppose."

"And?" Draco prompted.

"And what?"

"People don't run around in a daze for a week when they're just unsettled," Draco said. "Come on, Potter. Be honest with me."

Harry sighed, thinking. Honest. He could do that. He had liked the kiss, a great deal. He wanted Draco to kiss him again, he'd already admitted as much to himself. So, why the daze? Why had he been running around like his brain had taken an impromptu holiday? What was so different about _this_ particular kiss, that it would send him into such a state?

It struck him then. Draco's kiss had sent him into that mild, uncertain panic _because_ he had liked it. A wave of guilt washed over him. He had been kissed by Draco Malfoy, someone with whom he would be enemies in the very near future, someone whose morals went against everything he believed in, and he had _liked _it. It was so obvious, what was happening to him, he couldn't believe he hadn't realized before.

"Oh god..." he whispered.

"Harry?" Draco frowned, looking concerned. "Are you alright? You've gone pale."

"I..." Harry stood up suddenly, a wave of panic washing over him. "I can't. I-I have to...I have to go."

Draco stood and took a step toward Harry, pausing when the other boy backed away. "What's wrong?"

"I-I'm sorry Draco..." Harry tripped the switch which opened the door. "I can't. This...I just...it's...I can't. I'm sorry. I can't."

With that he turned and dashed out of the room, mind swirling in a confused, panicked frenzy. He wasn't sure where he was going, or how long he ran, he just had to get as far away as possible. He wasn't even sure if Draco followed him or not.

He slowed when he developed a stitch in his side, and realized he was outside. Ducking behind a tree, he slumped to the ground, drawing his knees to his chest. It was impossible. It had to be. It simply could not be happening. Harry let out a long, shuddering breath. Suddenly, it seemed as though his world was falling down around his ears, and he was helpless to stop it. He knew now, with painful clarity, that in one moment of realization everything had changed. 

Harry looked up at the bright, crisp blue sky, the leaves in the tree above just beginning to show red and gold mingled among the green. He had always loved autumn, but now its beauty went unnoticed. All he could do was fight the tightness in his chest and wonder how fate could have done this to him. How fate could have let him fall in love with Draco Malfoy.


End file.
